Description and Warnings (May contain spoilers)

Charlie tells Nick about his history with Ben Hope.

TW:: Mentions of domestic violence and an abusive relationship.

Charlie

I’d never told anyone everything that happened in my relationship with Ben, partly because Ben insisted on keeping us so secret. I’d even kept things about us from Geoff, my therapist, he won’t be happy about that when I next see him.

I didn’t really know where best to start, I suppose the beginning might have made sense but instead I felt the need to stop hearing that name by correcting Nick.

“My name isn’t Mr Hope-Spring,” maybe that wasn’t the best way to word that as Nick now appeared concerned like I was some crazy person that had taken someone else’s booking. I quickly rushed to say, “I mean, I was supposed to be Mr Hope-Spring, this was supposed to be our honeymoon, but we didn’t get as far as getting married, so I’m just Charlie Spring.” His face relaxed but settled into looking sorry for me. I suppose I should have expected that.

“Sorry, I’m not being very clear.”

“You say sorry a lot.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t,” Nick replied with a small smile.

“I kinda want to say it again,” I smiled back.

“Why don’t you start at the beginning?”

“Ok,”

Ben and I first met at Truham secondary school for boys. I was in the music room playing the drums, I’d found it a great way to work out some of my negative emotions after I’d been bullied at school after being accidentally outed the year before. Ben came in one lunch time and squeezed himself onto the small drum stool with me. He put his hand on my knee and told me how brave I was for ‘coming out’ the year before, as if my life hadn’t been made a living hell by the other boys after someone overheard my best friend Tao talking about me being gay. Maybe he didn’t know about the bullying, but I don’t see how he could have missed it, I was the talk of Truham that year until one of the teachers finally found out.

Ben kissed me for the first time in that music room, it was the first time I’d ever kissed anyone but especially a boy. It felt like that little emoji with all the hearts around it 🥰. A boy liked me, and he wanted to kiss me, I felt like I was walking on cloud nine. He told me not to tell anyone, and at the time I thought nothing more of it. I knew from first hand experience what it was like to be forced out before you were ready, so I understood. This went on for a few weeks, he’d find me in the music room, and we’d spend the time kissing. He’d leave quickly each time the bell went for next lessons, reminding me to not tell anyone about us.

At some point it progressed to us meeting up before and after school in the library, thinking back now I guess he chose that because he knew it would be empty. We never told anyone else at Truham about us the whole time we were there. We carried on the same way for the rest of that year, never really doing anything besides kissing. Over that first summer, he would get me to meet him in some really strange places, places he knew wouldn’t be seen. He never wanted to come over my house, and we never went to his either, even if we knew our parents weren’t going to be home.

Once we returned to school, me for Year 11 and him for his first year of Sixth Form, he started wanting more than kissing. He would start telling me that ‘all his friends were doing it’ and that it was ‘no big deal’. When I tried to say I wasn’t ready for that on way occasion in a corridor after school, he’d thrown me hard against the wall, gripped my wrists together tightly in one hand and started trying to reach inside my trousers. He only stopped when he’d heard someone coming down the corridor. I stayed off school for a few days after that, I didn’t want anyone to see the bruises he’d left on my wrists.

He text me a few times after, saying he was sorry, saying he didn’t mean to and that he was just so turned on by me. I tried to ignore his messages, he hated that. He got really angry with me and his texts getting progressively more aggressive. When I got back to the school, I thought he was an odd mix of apologetic and aggressive. He was saying he was sorry for what he did, but at the same time he was kissing me as hard as he could, almost like he was trying to lay claim to me.

I wish I could say that was the only time Ben had got physical with me. While Ben was still at Truham he continued to insist we didn’t tell anyone about us. This was also when I found out that Ben was the jealous type. A boy in the same year as Ben was starting flirting with me in school, and Ben saw. When we met up later on, he got really mad at me, he broke my arm and it was in plaster for weeks.

“I should have left at that point, any normal person would have left at that point,” the tears had started to fall again.

Nick reached out and placed his hand on mine, “It’s ok, you don’t have to go on, if you don’t want to,” his face didn’t show signs of pity, just care.

I sniffed, “No, it’s ok, I need to tell someone,”

Things got a little easier when Ben finished sixth form, I still had one more year left at Truham before I would go to university and Ben decided to take a gap year so that we could be together at university. He convinced me it would be easier for us to be together if we were away from the pressures of our families and friends. That we could be together properly without worrying about anyone finding out. I’d given up long ago of trying to get him to come out so the thought that we could properly be together made me feel so special. Made it feel like everything we’d been through was finally going to be worth it.

With Ben not being at school every day meant I was able to relax a lot more, I didn’t need to worry about him getting jealous of me just talking to other boys at school. Ben would still text me every day when I was at school, looking back I wonder if that was him just checking up on me. But we didn’t really see each other during that year. By the time I graduated from Truham and we were preparing to go off to Durham University together. He’d been accepted following his results the year before, so I had made my first choice too.

Ben’s parents paid for a flat for him, it was small but big enough for the two of us. Of course, they didn’t know I was staying there, it was just convenient for him to keep me close. It was once we were  living together that I finally felt ready to take our relationship further. I’d always pictured my first time to be with someone who would take care of me, make me feel like I was the most important guy in the world and then hold me close to them after while enjoying gentle, slow kisses. You could describe Ben’s, ‘style’, as the opposite of that. He wasn’t gentle, he didn’t really care, it was all about getting him off. Once he’d cum, he’d pull out and jump in the shower. He never cared if I enjoyed it, or if I got off too.

When we were out and about on campus, he still didn’t really treat me like his boyfriend. Sure, unlike at Truham he had no problem talking to me in front of others, people knew we lived together so I guess it would have been weird if he didn’t talk to me. But he never wanted to hold hands or kiss me in front of his friends. He’d introduce me as his roommate or ‘the guy he lived with’, then when we’d get home he’d apologise and melt me with kisses so that I wouldn’t want to leave him.

Finally, after 3 years at university, I assumed we’d move back to our parents, and he wouldn’t want anything more to do with me. I was prepared for that, really, I knew he still wasn’t out to his parents, and I didn’t think that was likely to change any time soon. But as we were getting ready in our suits for graduation day, he turned to me, and I asked me if I wanted to get married. It was so, unexpected that I said yes. I was so happy that he wanted to be with me. He got a job working at his dad’s firm in London and got a flat near there for the two of us. That was 6 months ago.

I paused to compose myself. Nick just waited patiently, letting me take the time I needed. I took a deep breath before I continued.

Description (May contain spoilers)

Nick and Charlie get a little closer.

Nick

“Are you ok?” Mr Hope-Spring asked me as his hand moved from my shoulder to my cheek. The small skin-to-skin contact felt like sparks of electricity suddenly passed between us, causing me to instinctively lean into his touch.

“I should be the one, asking you that.”

“I’m fine, I’m sorry for…before…you know…” he stammered, his smile now gone and his face tilted down towards the floor. His hand now down by his side.

I reached for his hand and waited until he looked back up at me, “hey, there’s no need to apologise,” I paused before continuing, “Do you want to talk about it?”

There was uncertainty on his face, like he was torn between needing to speak and needing to bury everything as deep down as possible and hide from the world. We stood in silence, unmoving, I gave him time to think about how he wanted to respond. All I wanted in that moment was to take away his pain, to put that smile back on the sweet man’s face. I wanted to wrap him up in my arms, hold him tight and never let go.

“I’m sorry,” there he was apologising again, “it’s…nothing,” he started looking down to the floor again.

I reached my free hand to his chin and gently lifted it so he was facing me again, “I’m a good listener,” I tried with my best caring smile which caused his own to start to show at the edges of his lips.

“I suppose,…maybe,…we could get some tea,” he shakily suggested. “No, that’s a stupid idea, forget I said anything,” he interrupted before I had a chance to respond. He turned to try and walk away but with the hand I still had holding his I gently pulled him back towards me. At least that was my intention, but with him trying to get away it turned into me accidentally pulling him into my lap.

Before he could do or say anything else, I wrapped my arms around him to make sure he didn’t fall and said, “hey, it’s a good suggestion, I’d love to get some Tea.”

“Won’t your boss mind, shouldn’t you be working?”

“My boss,” I was slightly confused, the intoxicating scent of Mr Hope-Spring combined with him now being very close to me had me feeling a little light-headed. Once I realised what he meant, I replied, “It’ll be fine, we could go to the little bar down the corridor if you want?” I was starting to notice that he wore his emotions so clearly on his face, he clearly wasn’t keen on somewhere as public as the bar so instead I suggested, “or, there’s tea back in the villa, if you wanted somewhere more…comfortable,” what was I doing, I thought for a moment that would have scared him off even more but I soon heard his almost silent reply of, “Okay.”

I reluctantly released him from my arms and helped him to his feet before getting up myself. I quickly placed a sign on the front desk to tell anyone that arrived how to get hold me while I was away, I hoped no one would need me while I was gone, and then Mr Hope-Spring and I walked silently back to the villa he’d booked.

Charlie

I used my key to let us both into the villa, I’d long forgotten about the towels I’d actually gone to ask for. I don’t know why but there was something about Nick that made me think, maybe I could tell him about what happened, maybe sharing it with someone who I’d never see again would let me work through my feelings. I started to walk over to the small table that held the kettle and other tea things when Nick placed his hand on my arm breaking the comfortable silence that had formed between us to say, “please, let me,” gesturing for me to see on the small sofa in front of us.

I blushed again at how kind Nick was and nodded in appreciation while taking a seat, I didn’t quite trust my own voice yet. Nick got to work preparing two cups of tea.

“How do you take it Mr Hope-Spring?”

“Charlie,” he looked confused at my response, “Sorry, I mean please, call me Charlie.”

He smiled, “Charlie,” as if he was trying it out to see how it fit, “how do you take your tea Charlie?” the smile never leaving his adorable face.

I smiled back, “just with milk please.”

Once he prepared our teas he came to join me on the small sofa. It was only just big enough for the two of us, our legs touching because of the lack of space and giving me the feeling like sparks were passing between us through the points at which we connected.

Nick didn’t say anything. He seemed to just be waiting for me to talk if I wanted to, when I was ready to. Could he be any sweeter? I took a few tentative sips of my tea, and began to tell Nick all about me and Ben Hope.

Description and Warnings (May contain spoilers)

Charlie wakes up to a phone call from Tori.

TW:: Brief mentions of Charlie’s eating disorder and previous self-harm.

Charlie

I woke up dazed and confused. I don’t remember falling asleep, let alone fully clothed. I even still had my shoes on. My mother, the infuriating Jane Spring, would have had a fit if anyone dared to even go beyond the hall in their shoes, let alone have them on the furniture. That has always stuck with me even though I haven’t lived at home with her and her obsessive control since I moved away to go to uni.

As I started to come to, I realised my phone must have woken me, it was vibrating in my pocket. I pulled it out to see why and was presented with my sister Tori’s name on the screen. I wanted to ignore it, but I knew she would just keep ringing until I answered her.

“Hello,” I groggily said as I picked up the call.

“Why are you in Menorca?” I had to stifle a laugh; Tori was always straight to the point. But how could she know I was in Menorca; I hadn’t told anyone I was coming here.

“Erm, what? I’m not, I’m” I stammered to try and lie before Tori interrupted me,

“I have you on Find my, I can see exactly where you are. Why are you in Menorca?”

I rubbed my face to try and wake myself up some more, how had I forgotten she could track my location. Tori had made me turn it on a few years ago when I was in a dark place. I was bullied at school and thought everyone would just be better off without me. I’d run away and was determined to kill myself. Tori found me before it was too late, it seems I didn’t run far enough away, but since then she’d made me promise to set my phone so that she could see where I was. She convinced me it was better she could see where I was than our Mum.

I groaned, “Urgh, I forgot about that stupid app, you know I’m an adult and can do what I want?”

“But you’re in Menorca,” she wasn’t going to give this one up and I was terrible at lying to Tori.

“I…just needed to get away,” it wasn’t a lie, it just wasn’t the whole truth, maybe she’d buy that?

“Alone?”

“Yes”

“What happened?” she knew me too well and if I wasn’t careful with what I said she’d be on the first plane here.

“Why did something have to happen?” I tried to play innocent, “Can’t I just have a break alone?”

Tori was quiet for a few moments, thinking about what I’d said.

“Something happened,” she stated as a matter of fact.

“Tori, I’m ok, honest, I just need some time. I promise to tell you everything but, not right now. Is that ok?”

More silence, please let it go for now I said to myself.

“You’re not thinking about hurting yourself again, are you?” she sounded worried.

“God, Tori, no,” I snapped back, “I Just really need time to get away from everything right now.”

Another pause.

“Ok, but I will be checking in with you and if you don’t answer I’m getting on the first plane there.”

I let out a sigh of relief that she was letting it go for now, I knew I wouldn’t get away with not telling her everything that had happened for long, but at least I could try and wrap my own head around it before I have to tell my sister.

“Fine.”

“Good. Talk soon little brother,” and without a further word she hung up.

I started to move to get off the bed when I felt something sticking to me. I reached down and found I was covered in rose petals. That’s when I remembered, the honeymoon package, I saw the heart of rose petals that had been delicately scattered on the bed and started crying in front of the man from the hotel. He sort of reminded me of a Golden Retriever, with his adorable face and excitable way he skipped round the desk. But that still didn’t explain how I ended up on the bed.

I swung my legs over the side and brushed off the petals from my clothes, trying to think back. I remember feeling like the ground had opened underneath me to drag me down, the heartbreak of seeing Ben in that reel hitting me all over again. I vaguely recall some strong arms wrapping themselves around me and then nothing until I woke up. He must have carried me, what was his name again, Nick. Nick must have carried me to the bed, urgh that’s so embarrassing.

I’d wanted to shower when I arrived at the hotel after the long flight overnight but obviously my plans had changed by my emotions taking over and knocking me out. I grabbed my toiletries from my bag, and I went to the bathroom in the little villa. I started laying out my things in just the right places, a habit I developed after years of therapy for my eating disorder. It gave me the control I needed of everyday things without restricting my eating, my therapist Geoff suggested it as a short-term solution to help me initially with my desire to regain control over things after I was outed at school and bullied for being gay.

I still wasn’t 100% over my eating disorder, it’s not something you ever really get over, but I had fewer bad days than I used to. But right now, I could feel my desire to control things was building again with my distress at having Ben snatched away from me. Logically I knew it was all his fault but there wasn’t anything logical about my reactions.

Just as I got my toiletries laid out, I went to put some towels somewhere I could reach them from the shower and that’s when I realised there weren’t any towels. I looked in the small cupboard in the bathroom and in the main room of the villa that was both lounge and bedroom but there weren’t any towels to be found. They must have forgotten when they were preparing all the honeymoon package. I thought I’d ring the reception but there was no phone in the room either, at least not that I could see, I’d have to go back and ask.

I could feel a small headache starting to form from the stress and started rubbing the space between my eyes to try and reduce the pressure before it could build. I found my key had been left on the bedside table, so I grabbed it, stuffed it in my pocket and left to head back to reception. Part of me hoping that Nick might still be there, I needed to apologise to him for my weird behaviour before.

I was approaching the desk and could see Nick sat back where he was when I first arrived. He seemed distracted, staring off into the distance. As I got closer, I could see tears falling down his face. He hadn’t noticed me approaching and I didn’t want t startle him, I gently called his name to get his attention, but he didn’t move. I tentatively reached out to place my hand on his shoulder and saw him quickly wipe the tears from his face before turning to me.

“Hi,” he smiled at me with the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen.

“Hi,” I hoped I wasn’t blushing.

Description and Warnings (May contain spoilers)

Nick remembers his Mum.

TW:: This chapter features the death of Sarah Nelson.

Nick

I was so pleased to show off the work I’d put into our new honeymoon package to its first ever guests but as I stood there holding the door open for Mr Hope-Spring, he suddenly collapsed to the floor and burst into tears. I bent down close to him and tried calling his name, but he couldn’t hear me. I didn’t know what was wrong but my heart-ached for this adorable man who was so upset in front of me.

I cautiously wrapped my arms around him, in the hopes of comforting him, to let him know he wasn’t alone. I wasn’t sure if I should at first, but I’m glad I did. The young man sank into my arms, and I just held on to him until he was all cried out. I felt his breathing start to slow and realised he’d drifted off in my arms. Careful not to wake him, I scooped the smaller man up in my arms and carried home over to the bed, placing him gently on top of the covers. I’d never been so glad for my strong arm caused by years of playing rugby than in the moment.

I moved his case away from the door, left the key on the bedside table and quietly closed the door to the villa so as not to disturb him. Although not before having one last longing look at the beautifully tortured soul who now looked so sweet and peaceful. Hopefully the rest would help him to feel better, maybe he was just missing his husband, I don’t know why they didn’t turn up together but maybe he’ll arrive by the time that cute boy wakes up.

I head back to the front desk and carry on with the work I was doing when Mr Hope-Spring arrived.

I’d been running the Sarah’s for 6 months now, technically I owned it now with my brother David. We both inherited it when our mother passed away, she opened Sarah’s 3 years ago after I’d finished my first year of university. We’d been coming to Menorca every summer since I was little and my Mum loved it here. So once David had got his own place, and I was living away in Leeds at university, she’d decided to buy this small business not far from where we used to stay. She loved this place, it has 12 hotel rooms and 4 little private villas. It didn’t need much work when she took over, the old couple who had owned it before had very proud of it and kept it immaculate, but they were getting too frail to keep going.

Sadly about a year ago, shortly after I finished getting my degree, my Mum was diagnosed with cancer. I came out to help her run the place while she was having treatment but 6 months later the cancer got the better of and she passed away peacefully in the place she loved. I was grateful that David was here too at the end, we didn’t know exactly how long our Mum would have but we wanted her to know we were here and that we loved her. After the funeral David rushed back to England, everything at the hotel was too painful a reminder for him.

We’d agreed I’d stay on and run the place to honour our Mum’s memory, and David would manage the accounts from back home, putting his finance degree to good use. I decide the best way to honour her would be to rename the mini resort to Sarah’s and I’d spent every day since trying to make it the best I could for her.

I hadn’t realised that I’d drifted off into my own thoughts until a soft hand came into contact with my shoulder. My face felt wet and I realised that I’d be crying, I quickly wiped my tears and turned to see who was next to me.

“Hi,” I smiled seeing it was Mr Hope-Spring.

“Hi.”

Description and Warnings (May contain spoilers)

This story is set in an alternative timeline where Nick and Charlie didn’t meet at school.

Charlie arrives in Menorca for his honeymoon with the love his life, Ben Hope.

Note:: This story includes themes of Domestic Violence and Physical Assault. Additionally, mentions of the loss of a loved one to cancer which could cause some distress.

Charlie

“Hi, welcome to Sarah’s, I’m Nick, how can I help you today?”, called the far too cheery man behind the desk as I approached.

“Hi,” I replied putting a print-out of my booking on the desk, trying my hardest not to be rude when all I wanted to do was curl up in a dark room and shut out the rest of the world. The man’s smile never faltered as he turned the paper towards him and tapped my booking number into his computer.

“The honeymoon package, for Mr and Mr Hope-Spring,” I inwardly groaned at hearing that name. “Is the other Mr Hope-Spring on his way?”

“Erm, he’ll be coming separately,” I lied hoping this would put the man off asking any more questions and let me get to my room.

“Okie dokie, if you’d like to follow me, can I carry your bags for you?” Nick asked as he skipped round to my side of the desk, like an overexcitable puppy.

“Why, do you think I’m too small and weak to carry it myself?” I snapped causing him to immediately recoil from me and stammer, “No…No, I just wanted to help,” now I felt bad, I knew he was just trying t be helpful but I wasn’t in the mood for his far too perky attitude.

“Your, room’s this way Mr Hope-Spring,” Nick dejectedly said as he turned away to lead me to my room.

We passed down a corridor of doors until we reached a large door at the end leading outside. Sarah’s was a combination of small hotel and private villas. I’d booked their honeymoon package as a surprise for Ben, it included a two week stay in a private villa and a number of couples experiences. I knew he’d appreciate the privacy as he was never too big on being together in public.

We were supposed to get married yesterday, then fly overnight to arrive this morning. Just 24 hours ago I was so happy, Ben and I had been together since we were teenagers. We met when at secondary school when I was in year 10 and he was in the year above. After sixth form he took a gap year, telling me it was so we could go through university together. His parents paid for a flat for Ben to stay in close to the university campus, and we lived together for all 3 years of our courses.

On our graduation day, Ben proposed. He didn’t get down on one knee, or make a big show in front of everyone, we were just getting ready that morning and he said to me, ‘Do you want to get married?’. That was 6 months ago, I’d agreed, and we booked a simple private ceremony, that didn’t surprise me, Ben and I always kept our relationship fairly quiet, so it didn’t surprise me when he said he wanted the wedding to be ‘just us’. He didn’t even want us to tell anyone until after we were marred either, which I didn’t really understand but accepted.

About a month ago, I’d decided to tell my best friends, Elle, Tao and Isacc, about our wedding. They had never been fans of Ben, after a big fight with them a few years ago over our relationship had become pretty strained so I just stopped talking about Ben with them. They didn’t understand why they weren’t invited to the wedding, I tried to explain to them how Ben and I thought it would be romantic to not invite anyone else but they weren’t convinced. Tao even accused Ben of ‘trying to keep me away from them’. Elle said she was ‘happy for me’, but there was definitely a tinge of sadness to her words.

The morning of the wedding, I was waiting at the registry office for Ben to arrive when I received a message from Tao.

Tao {9:35}:         Charlie, I know it’s your wedding day, but…

Charlie {9:36}:   What?

Tao {9:42}:         I swear I want to be happy for you, but I think Ben might be cheating on you

Charlie {9:42}:   No, you’re lying, I thought you were supposed to be my friend!

Tao {9:43}:         I am your friend

Charlie {9:43}:   Ha, some friend

Tao {9:44}:         I saw him

Tao {9:47}:         with a girl

Charlie {9:48}:   She could have been a friend

Tao {9:50}:         He was kissing her, and it didn’t look like a friend way

Charlie {9:57}:   No, you must be wrong, it can’t have been my Ben

Tao {10:00}:       I didn’t want to have to show you this Charlie

Tao {10:01}:       * New reel received *

I watched the reel he sent 3 times before it sunk in. Tao wasn’t wrong, there he was, my Ben, kissing a girl. Not just any girl, it was Imogen Heaney. Ben and her had dated for a few months in school before we got together. I didn’t know what to do, Ben was due to arrive any minute. I could have confronted him, found out why he did it, but I couldn’t bare to think of what if he’s been seeing her this whole time. He never talked about her, or about anyone to me really, when we were together he liked to keep everything about me and him.

No, I couldn’t deal with this right now, I had to get out of there, before Ben arrived, I had to run.

That’s how I now found myself, alone and outside a small but adorable little villa in Menorca.

Nick opened the door to the villa and held it for me as I walked inside. Once I was just inside the door, I came to a sudden stop, I’d forgotten everything that was included in the Honeymoon package. The giant-four poster bed had red rose petals scattered on it in the shape of a heart, there were heart-shaped balloons anchored with strings guiding you towards it and there was an ice bucket with a bottle of champagne resting inside.

Up until that moment I’d managed to hold myself together, but seeing the villa like that broke me. I collapsed to my knees and starting sobbing harder than I ever had before. I couldn’t stop myself, the tears just kept flowing. I felt a strong pair of arms wrap themselves around me and I sank into them and just cried and cried until I couldn’t cry any more.