Charlie

I woke up dazed and confused. I don’t remember falling asleep, let alone fully clothed. I even still had my shoes on. My mother, the infuriating Jane Spring, would have had a fit if anyone dared to even go beyond the hall in their shoes, let alone have them on the furniture. That has always stuck with me even though I haven’t lived at home with her and her obsessive control since I moved away to go to uni.

As I started to come to, I realised my phone must have woken me, it was vibrating in my pocket. I pulled it out to see why and was presented with my sister Tori’s name on the screen. I wanted to ignore it, but I knew she would just keep ringing until I answered her.

“Hello,” I groggily said as I picked up the call.

“Why are you in Menorca?” I had to stifle a laugh; Tori was always straight to the point. But how could she know I was in Menorca; I hadn’t told anyone I was coming here.

“Erm, what? I’m not, I’m” I stammered to try and lie before Tori interrupted me,

“I have you on Find my, I can see exactly where you are. Why are you in Menorca?”

I rubbed my face to try and wake myself up some more, how had I forgotten she could track my location. Tori had made me turn it on a few years ago when I was in a dark place. I was bullied at school and thought everyone would just be better off without me. I’d run away and was determined to kill myself. Tori found me before it was too late, it seems I didn’t run far enough away, but since then she’d made me promise to set my phone so that she could see where I was. She convinced me it was better she could see where I was than our Mum.

I groaned, “Urgh, I forgot about that stupid app, you know I’m an adult and can do what I want?”

“But you’re in Menorca,” she wasn’t going to give this one up and I was terrible at lying to Tori.

“I…just needed to get away,” it wasn’t a lie, it just wasn’t the whole truth, maybe she’d buy that?

“Alone?”

“Yes”

“What happened?” she knew me too well and if I wasn’t careful with what I said she’d be on the first plane here.

“Why did something have to happen?” I tried to play innocent, “Can’t I just have a break alone?”

Tori was quiet for a few moments, thinking about what I’d said.

“Something happened,” she stated as a matter of fact.

“Tori, I’m ok, honest, I just need some time. I promise to tell you everything but, not right now. Is that ok?”

More silence, please let it go for now I said to myself.

“You’re not thinking about hurting yourself again, are you?” she sounded worried.

“God, Tori, no,” I snapped back, “I Just really need time to get away from everything right now.”

Another pause.

“Ok, but I will be checking in with you and if you don’t answer I’m getting on the first plane there.”

I let out a sigh of relief that she was letting it go for now, I knew I wouldn’t get away with not telling her everything that had happened for long, but at least I could try and wrap my own head around it before I have to tell my sister.

“Fine.”

“Good. Talk soon little brother,” and without a further word she hung up.

I started to move to get off the bed when I felt something sticking to me. I reached down and found I was covered in rose petals. That’s when I remembered, the honeymoon package, I saw the heart of rose petals that had been delicately scattered on the bed and started crying in front of the man from the hotel. He sort of reminded me of a Golden Retriever, with his adorable face and excitable way he skipped round the desk. But that still didn’t explain how I ended up on the bed.

I swung my legs over the side and brushed off the petals from my clothes, trying to think back. I remember feeling like the ground had opened underneath me to drag me down, the heartbreak of seeing Ben in that reel hitting me all over again. I vaguely recall some strong arms wrapping themselves around me and then nothing until I woke up. He must have carried me, what was his name again, Nick. Nick must have carried me to the bed, urgh that’s so embarrassing.

I’d wanted to shower when I arrived at the hotel after the long flight overnight but obviously my plans had changed by my emotions taking over and knocking me out. I grabbed my toiletries from my bag, and I went to the bathroom in the little villa. I started laying out my things in just the right places, a habit I developed after years of therapy for my eating disorder. It gave me the control I needed of everyday things without restricting my eating, my therapist Geoff suggested it as a short-term solution to help me initially with my desire to regain control over things after I was outed at school and bullied for being gay.

I still wasn’t 100% over my eating disorder, it’s not something you ever really get over, but I had fewer bad days than I used to. But right now, I could feel my desire to control things was building again with my distress at having Ben snatched away from me. Logically I knew it was all his fault but there wasn’t anything logical about my reactions.

Just as I got my toiletries laid out, I went to put some towels somewhere I could reach them from the shower and that’s when I realised there weren’t any towels. I looked in the small cupboard in the bathroom and in the main room of the villa that was both lounge and bedroom but there weren’t any towels to be found. They must have forgotten when they were preparing all the honeymoon package. I thought I’d ring the reception but there was no phone in the room either, at least not that I could see, I’d have to go back and ask.

I could feel a small headache starting to form from the stress and started rubbing the space between my eyes to try and reduce the pressure before it could build. I found my key had been left on the bedside table, so I grabbed it, stuffed it in my pocket and left to head back to reception. Part of me hoping that Nick might still be there, I needed to apologise to him for my weird behaviour before.

I was approaching the desk and could see Nick sat back where he was when I first arrived. He seemed distracted, staring off into the distance. As I got closer, I could see tears falling down his face. He hadn’t noticed me approaching and I didn’t want t startle him, I gently called his name to get his attention, but he didn’t move. I tentatively reached out to place my hand on his shoulder and saw him quickly wipe the tears from his face before turning to me.

“Hi,” he smiled at me with the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen.

“Hi,” I hoped I wasn’t blushing.